Grieving

4/5/08

(this would take place a few days after Starscream betrays them, during the time Screamer was with the Autobots)

Hot Shot / Starscream / grieving

Prompt 8 - Grieving

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"Starscream...? Why?" A broken voice asked as the young yellow mech stared up at former Autobot, Starscream. The seeker looked down on him, orange optics full of pain that he tried so hard to disguise as hatred. He just couldn't stay with them anymore...if this war was to ever end Starscream HAD to kill Megatron, but first he had to gain the tyrant’s trust back then...oh then it would be easy. But this hurt Starscream more than any of Megatron's beatings had, as his spark nearly ripped in two at the sight of his broken and distraught bondmate. 'Hot Shot, I'm sorry...' Starscream thought as he raised his sword to deliver a powerful blow to the back of the younger mech's helmet.

Effectively knocking the other offline, the seeker quickly retreated along with his bastard of a master. His optics landed on Hot Shot's prone form, as he sent a burst of love, regret, and sadness through their bond before he closed it, intent on not opening it again until this damn war was over. Mist fogged over his optics as he shuttered them closed and warped back to the Decepticon base. Hot Shot came to some orns later, and wasn't surprised to find himself in the repair bay as he stared up blankly at the glaring white ceiling. He hurt...all over.

His body felt as heavy as lead and his mind ached with an intense headache that pounded at his processor, but most of all his spark was what felt like it had been stabbed clean through and was splintering into little tiny pieces. It was screaming...screaming for the one it had bonded with to come back and make this terrible feeling go away. He felt so angry...so sad and betrayed. It was awful and Hot Shot's optics misted over as lubricant tears slid down his white cheeks, while little sobs broke free of his vocalizer. He shuttered his optics then allowed himself to just break down, not caring if anyone saw him or not.

Of course pretty much everyone was gathered outside the repair bay and were looking into the glass window to watch Hot Shot. His break down startled everyone, especially the kids who had never once seen Hot Shot with his spirit badly crushed. Alexis cried quietly as she watched the extremely wounded mech, then Rad looked up at Red Alert, tears also in his eyes as he asked, "Isn't there something we can do for him?" Red Alert sighed softly, shaking his head as he replied, "Hot Shot just needs to ride it out, and the best we can give him is our support and comfort. Other than that he just needs to get over it on his own." Everyone at the Autobot base had known about Starscream and Hot Shot being together, not that they paraded it around but they weren't the quietest of mech's.

All of them had accepted their relationship, and most were glad of it because it meant that there was less hostility among them. So Starscream's betrayal was made doubly harsh because of his deep relationship with the seeker, and that is what pissed everyone off the most. After a few more days Hot Shot was released from the repair bay and functioning just fine, but he still wasn't completely himself. He still laughed and smiled, made jokes and helped out when needed, he still played with the kids and trained with the intense ferocity as usual, but he was lacking in his usual emotions. The only times he was the same really was when he trained or sparred with the other Autobots.

His blue optics didn't shine with the same light, his smiles looked so fake, and his words were just...words they lacked everything that made him Hot Shot. It was depressing and everyone tried to be as upbeat as they could, but Hot Shot still hurt and it couldn't ever go away completely. The young mech sighed as he stared out at the sunset, his body curled in tightly as he hugged himself. 'I-I thought...that he loved me?' Hot Shot thought as his azure optics misted over again. He had been crying so much lately, it was making him weary and seemed to stretch his wound even farther.

How many days would he have to cry until this feeling went away? Loud footsteps jerked the younger mech out of his depressing thoughts as he turned and found Optimus standing there. His leader had been going out of his way to do everything he could for Hot Shot, wanting nothing more than to see his most beloved friend out of this rut. The red and blue mech sat down next to him, his golden optics settling onto the quickly dimming orange sun that was sinking behind the mountains. There was silence between the two mechs for a while then Hot Shot finally said, "I was...so sure that Star—he loved me."

Primus, he couldn't even say his ex-lover's name out loud anymore. Optimus let out a soft sigh as he carefully wrapped an arm around the younger mech's shoulders. The yellow 'bot leaned into his leader's side, too tired to pull away or do anything beyond just resting. "I have a feeling that his betrayal wasn't what he made it seem like. Just give it time Hot Shot, all wounds heal with time." Optimus said gently as he soothingly stroked the other's back. Hot Shot let out a sigh, wishing… hoping that Optimus was right because even with friends surrounding him he had never felt so alone in his entire life.

End (or is it?)